A few weeks into freshman year of college, I was at a party and started talking to a cute guy. I’ll call him Max. Max had a girlfriend from high school who went to college about an hour away from us, and they were still dating, so nothing happened with Max and me, at least romantically. We became friends, and he even gave me advice about guys I liked. A few months later, his girlfriend broke up with him–it was too hard to date long-distance–and after he got over the breakup, our friendship naturally moved into dating.
I’m giving this background because it’s important to know that Max and I had a strong friendship before we even got into a relationship, before we started having sex. We communicated well, and we were careful and responsible with birth control (we used condoms and the Pill, then after we were tested for STDs and knew we were exclusive, just the Pill). We always practiced safe sex.
Then, during finals week in May, I noticed that my period was late, but I figured it was stress from finals. I truly didn’t believe that I could be pregnant because I never missed a Pill and always took it at the same time, like clockwork. Finals ended, and as we were both about to head home, I was in the pharmacy getting some packing tape when I passed the pregnancy tests and thought, I’ll just do this for peace of mind. I’m sure it will show I’m not pregnant, and then I can get this off my mind.
Well, that’s not what happened. Apparently, despite being on the Pill, I was pregnant.
Max and I were both panicked, but there was no question that I would get an abortion. We immediately agreed on that—it was not even a question for either of us. Max and I were 19 years old, teenage college students, barely able to afford meals outside of our campus meal plan, and filled with plans for our professional and personal futures. We weren’t logistically, financially, or emotionally able to raise a kid. We were still kids ourselves.
We went to the procedure together, and the doctors and nurses were amazing and cared so much about our wellbeing. Because of the excellent medical care that was available and legal, I had no complications, and because Max and I were lucky enough to have the ability to make this choice, our lives and the life of an innocent child who would have been born to parents who neither wanted this child nor could adequately care for a child, were saved from this awful circumstance.
When Roe vs. Wade was overturned a few weeks ago, I cried for all of the women–of any age, in any circumstance—who won’t have the opportunity to make a choice about their own bodies and their own futures. The best decision I’ve made in my life so far was to have this abortion and more of us need to tell our stories as we fight to regain our rights.
I’m now going into senior year of college. Max and I are friends again–we broke up before junior year (can you imagine if we had a kid together?). We’ve both grown and matured and challenged ourselves and been exposed to life-changing experiences because we had the opportunity to finish college along with our peers. Max has done amazing internships and is ready to start his dream career. I’ll be applying to medical school. And every day I feel so grateful that this is the life I have—not one dictated to me by the government in our supposedly free country.