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October 15, 2022

How to Stop Being Jealous

By Anonymous
, 9th grade
, from Durham, North Carolina

This year, I started to notice that I was a jealous person. It started when a friend got the teacher I wanted. Then the person I liked started flirting with someone else. One friend got the part I wanted in our school’s musical, another always gets the grades I want, and another has amazing style. Then I’d be on Instagram and see everyone doing things I was jealous of. 

One day I was complaining about this when my older sister said, “You spend so much time being jealous that you don’t even see what you have, or might have if you focused on yourself instead of everyone else.”

She was right. I was spending all my time looking at other people’s lives and no time on my own. So I decided to do some research to learn how to stop being so jealous. Here’s what I found:

  1. Instead of focusing on how a friend is more popular, smarter, or more attractive than you, focus on how much fun you have with them and remember that they see something special in you too, because they chose you as their friend.
  2. Don’t compare yourself to others. This is hard, obviously, but like my sister said, it helps to focus instead on what you do have,  and not what you don’t have. 
  3. If you do compare, use it only to motivate you. Is your friend a better student? Maybe you can study more or go to your teacher for help. Let it motivate you to become a better student (or athlete, etc.).
  4. Follow your own passions. Life isn’t a contest and we don’t all have to be amazing at the same things. Spend less time being  jealous of what someone else is doing and more time pursuing what makes you happy.
  5. Remember that we all have things to be grateful for, whether it’s a loving family, a talent or skill, or even having great hair.  
  6. Know that you’re not alone. Most people feel jealous, especially in high school. It’s just part of life.                

I still get jealous sometimes, but all of this has helped me to be much less jealous, which has made me a happier person overall. I hope that these tips help anyone else who’s dealing with jealousy.

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