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February 19, 2023

I Want to Define My Situationship!

By Brooke S.
, 17
, from Memphis, TN

I feel like everyone’s had a situationship at this point, and they can be confusing and emotionally challenging, especially when Valentine’s Day comes around.

For me, Valentine’s Day brought up a lot of mixed emotions. On the one hand, I knew we were in a situationship, so I shouldn’t expect anything. But also, I was hoping that this guy I’ve been talking to would acknowledge the day and make me feel special. So when Valentine’s Day came and went without any acknowledgment that something’s going on between us, it was pretty upsetting.

The good news is, I’m feeling better now that a couple of weeks have passed, so here’s my advice if you’re in a situationship and want more clarity:

  • If your situationship doesn’t reach out on Valentine’s Day like mine didn’t and you feel hurt or neglected, it’s important to take a step back and re-evaluate the relationship. While situationships can be fun and exciting, they can also be emotionally draining and unfulfilling. It’s important to be honest with yourself about what you want from the relationship and whether your partner is capable of or interested in meeting those needs.
  • It’s also important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and care, regardless of the type of relationship you’re in. If your partner isn’t willing to make you feel special on Valentine’s Day, it may be a sign that they’re not as invested in the relationship as you are. In this case, it may be time to have an open and honest conversation about the future of the relationship.
  • I often ignore all the red flags my situationship has, and fantasize about how great the guy is. Have perspective and focus on the good and the bad, and that way you can make a more informed decision.

I ended up talking to the guy and told him how I felt. He said that he didn’t acknowledge Valentine’s Day because he thought I only wanted something casual, and he was glad I brought it up. We have now decided that we’re in a relationship and we both feel much happier having defined what we are to each other.

This isn’t always the outcome, but even if it ended differently, I would still have been glad that I communicated what I wanted so I wasn’t in a situation that felt uncomfortable. Whatever happens, always remember to take care of yourself and prioritize your own emotional well-being, even if it means ending the relationship and moving on to something more fulfilling.

Situationships are very common, but if the lack of clarity doesn’t work for you, make sure that you find something else that does.

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